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Love Bites

Well, the love bug has bitten Buffy the Vampire Slayer’s Xander and Cordelia, so we got Nicholas Brendon and Charisma Carpenter, who play the feuding sweeties every Tuesday, to dish up the total 411 about their on-screen kisses and offscreen loves

By Jeanne Wolfe

Let’s start with your real life - when was your first kiss?

Charisma Carpenter: Third grade, behind a chair in class during a movie, when the lights were off. I was boy crazy. I loved the idea of a kiss and being in love. We were talking, and then we looked at each other and we just kissed. I didn’t run away. I liked it.
Nicholas Brendon: I was 14, with a girl named Joanna. We’d just decided to go steady. I went in for a little kiss, and she opened her mouth. It freaked me out. I kept mine closed, and she closed hers real quick. I couldn’t believe it. It was like, "My life’s changing. She opened her mouth. I felt her tongue." We were together for four months. I broke up with her because she wasn’t popular. And then she became hugely popular. I was like, "I was just kidding about the breakup. Can we…?" She was like, "No." By then she was dating a really popular guy.

Have you ever dated someone way cooler than you were?

CC: I’ve dated the cool type. It was always short-lived, and I always wound up with a broken heart. You can’t put people on pedestals. Nobody likes to have to live up to [huge] expectations. With that kind of pressure, the relationship doesn’t work.

Have friends ever tried to keep you from dating someone?

CC: I wasn’t popular in school, but I was a cheerleader and people knew who I was. My high school sweetheart was not popular; he kept to himself, and he had that brooding smart thing going on. My friends didn’t give me a hard time, but I think they were surprised by my choice.
NB: It’s funny, because I would always look for my twin brother Kelly’s approval - at first. I wouldn’t let my friends have that much influence over who I am.

What’s the stupidest thing you’ve ever done for love?

CC: I think I’ve been too generous. Making a picnic or something  like that for someone is so much more thoughtful than overwhelming him with gifts.
NB: [Are we talking about] love or lust? I went on a couple of dates with a girl in L.A. After that, she happened to visit her family in New Jersey at the same time I was visiting New York. Well, at 3 a.m. on the day I was supposed to go back to Los Angeles, I was sitting with a friend in a café in New York. I wrote a letter to this girl and decided to deliver it to her in person before my flight left at 7 a.m. So I got in a cab, and the driver took me to Jersey. I had no idea where she lived. By 4:30, I still hadn’t found the house. So I called her. She was like, "Why are you calling me?" I dropped the note off and made it to the airport at quarter of seven. The cab ride cost me in excess of $300. And we never talked after she got back to L.A. I think I lost a large part of my integrity that night. But [there was no stopping me]. I felt like I was watching a film that I was in, cheering myself on: "Do it, do it!"

What’s the smartest thing you’ve ever done for love?

NB: Do you really do smart things for love? I don’t really equate "smart" with "love." I met Wendy [Thompson, his then-girlfriend]. That was pretty smart. As many times as I’ve tried to blow this relationship, I haven’t [succeeded], with a lot of help coming from her. I think being with her could be pretty smart.
CC: The smartest thing I’ve ever done for love was to let go when I wasn’t really in it.

What’s the nuttiest pick-up line you’ve ever used on someone?

NB: I’ve never used a pick-up line. I think they’re cheesy.
CC: On a dare, I kissed someone I totally didn’t know. And I had to have been at least 21, because it happened in a bar. That sounds awful. A bunch of girlfriends and I saw somebody really cute, and I was like, "Omigosh, that guy is Adonis over there." My girlfriends agreed, and they said, "I dare you to kiss him." So I walked over, and I just laid one on him. He was pretty impressed. He wanted my phone number, but I didn’t want it to go that far, you know?

Who first broke your heart?
CC: I’ve had a broken heart many times. My first love was a boy named Danny. I was 11 years old. He loved me, but he was 13 and his hormones were racing. [He dumped me for] a girl named Brandy who had a hot body. He dated her for eight months, and that broke my heart.
NB: My first serious girlfriend [broke my heart]. I was 20, and she was 18. She was an actress who was working a lot, and at the time I was not. It was a horrible relationship [because she and her family were putting pressure on me about my career]. That was the first time I’d ever been bitten by that bug, where it went from being puppy love to the real thing, and I didn’t know how to deal with it. I think the first one’s the toughest.

What’s the best thing you can do to make yourself feel better after a breakup?

NB: Every time I’ve been through a breakup, I’ve talked to my brother. There’s nothing specific that I do. I know that I lose my sense of humor. I lose my appetite for a while. Also, I get a little asocial. The best way to get through it is just to remember that every day gets better.
CC: I like to date somebody else immediately. That’s the only way. Denial is my style. That’s the coward’s way to do it, but it works for me.